A MESSAGE TO THE GHOST OF
(((NOTE: RODGER became a MASS MURDERER.)))
ELLIOT RODGER, R.I.P.
In 2014, President Obama issued a Presidential Proclamation
for National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.
NOTE: this generally falls under state and local law in the USA.
IF YOU ARE A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT OR RAPE IN CANADA, CLICK HERE.
SKIP INTRODUCTION, GO STRAIGHT TO THE SOLUTION.
(This article began around Dec. 2013, before Elliot Rodgers killed all those innocent people. Latest modification, March 29, 2021) This article was continued 1)in response to what Elliot Rodger, mass murderer, did in Isla Vista, CA, and 2)because I'm getting old, I wanted to record my feelings, my knowledge, and my experiences before I FORGET IT!!!! I'm over 60 now, so I doubt I will have many more such wonderful experiences with women I had between about 1991 and 2010, mostly at the beach.
NOTE: I took the Lady Gaga, Joe Biden tour against sexual violence at face value and had great trust in both of these celebrities. I used to have links here to the Joe Biden Foundation, and to various links concerning the Biden/Lady Gaga tour and campaign against sexual violence. This tour probably did a tremendous amount of good.
NOTE: there's no way whatsoever I could've continued having such neat experiences for nearly 20 years with hundreds, even thousands, of women if I were violating some ethical or moral rule. I was not the one who directed what occurred. But here are some facts: 1)I never got laid or had sex with any of the women, but I was hugged and treated royally otherwise. 2) Usually, but not always, I met women and girls who were were already in groups, not alone. I felt more comfortable that way, and so did they. Women are self protective in groups. 3) I didn't go out at night. After walking 3 to 6 or more miles per day along the beach, as well as swimming, I usually went home around 5 p.m. and went to sleep immediately, so I didn't see anyone at night. I was very tired by sundown.
How to 1)get over insanity in relationships! 2)How to get hugged by hundreds, perhaps a thousand, women, free of charge, and 3)how lightening up a lot could help you immeasurably. FACT: having 1000 girlfriends, or more, is actually easier than having ONE girlfriend!
TRAPPED IN HIS CAR, A REFUGEE FROM AMERICA'S SUBURBS: this entire section is dedicated to the 2014 victims of an unfortunate kid from the suburbs named, Elliot Rodger, who shot dead a number of poeple in Isla Vista, California after getting extremely angry at not being able to interact harmoniously with women, college women in particular. He was definitely not in the "moment" in terms of being in bliss and happiness BEFORE going out. Never go out to meet up with women unless you're already somewhat happy.
Also, get out of your car for a change! In the end, he used his car as a weapon to kill innocent people with. There's a whole world out there of sidewalks, cafes, sidewalk cafes, bicycles, coffee shops, yoga studios, dance studios, bars, discos, exercise studios, walking paths, and nice shaded areas in parks, etc., etc. Talk to people somewhere, don't just drive around all day. I also notice a certain stressed look on his face in the selfies, and a strange angle of how his head and neck appear. I think the guy needed neck massage from all that driving around all the time.
Most or all of his "selfies" were from inside of his car. I feel like he just drove around all day getting angrier and angrier, not knowing where to just "be" and interact in society. He should not have been in the car so often in the first place.
From the basis of anger and frustration, there is no way any relationship or meeting up with women is going to happen.
Relationship Light: don't be so HEAVY about it! It makes no sense to go ballistic when things don't go as planned. Over-planning relationships could be the problem.
The advice I give here may not solve ONE situation of a guy falling in love with one girl unsuccessfully, but it could result in that confused guy getting many girlfriends instead of just that one who could not honestly reciprocate, and to no longer fall into such foolish situations.
- Learn to listen to women. They want to talk and to be heard.
- Sleep. Get rested, get re-charged, before going out. Being tired is not the best way to approach women. So sleep on it.
- When your attitude changes, it appears that the universe of women also changes. It's that simple. But most guys don't believe the solution could be that simple. But it is very simple. Most guys are blocking reality by objectifying and chasing women. Once women are allowed to start chasing men, that's the goal. That's what women want to do, to chase guys.
- Women are actually repulsed by guys who are chasing them as if they were prey. Women hate being prey. Women are repulsed when guys objectify them, and chase them like prey.
- Don't Objectively Chase or Objectively Pursue Women. Be with lots of women, listen to women, but don't chase them in your mind, or... just don't chase women. Let them chase you, if they want to. Heterosexual women love to chase men, shop for men, look at men, talk to men, and so forth. For them to chase you, you have to first listen to them, and be around heterosexual (or bisexual) women, however.
Letting women choose who they wish to chase or approach ends any doubt about their intentions, and eliminates all and any accusations which could be leveled at the chasee, the one chased. If that's you, then enjoy the sunshine. Anybody with any endeavors can benefit from the support of teams of cheerleaders. We all need that.
Something in world culture has been unbalanced in this regard for a long time. I know I was previously "hypnotized" by modern media culture, and perhaps, not really understanding how the universe works until around 1990. But so many movies and books have helped create the idea that a guy is supposed to chase women, mentally and physically.
The problem with "chasing women" is that it quickly becomes similar to the predator-prey scenario. Women actually despise being treated as "prey".
They do want to be appreciated, maybe even worshipped, so definitely appreciate them in all their beauty and charm, but don't chase them.
Ironically, if you stop chasing women, mentally and physically, you will find yourself immediately with thousands and thousands of girl-friends. Trust me. It works.
- Reciprocity. (Surprise!) In terms of non-Platonic relationships, heterosexual and bi women find your body as interesting as you find hers. If not, then you could still pursue a Platonic relationship. There should be appropriate physical reciprocity if a proper "full" relationship is to occur. Atheletes and Tarzan types do have an advantage with this aspect, but women like small or frail guys sometimes just because they don't intimidate them.
- Parents and Relatives On YOUR Side? Doesn't matter. Even if everyone in the world thinks you two should be together, if she still doesn't feel so inclined to go with you, then it's "no dice".
In fact, I'm inclined to speculate that many girls often like guys whom their parents DESPISE!!! This is in harmony with the concept that girls often like "rebels" whom parents often don't like.
I suppose this varies from culture to culture.
- Don't assume you are ugly to women. Women often like ugly guys. What women like in the opposite sex is totally mysterious.
- (Concerning celibacy) Virtually every athelete in the entire world knows that what I am saying here is TRUE. I first read about these concepts, outside religous belief concerning "celibacy", from reading interviews with famous American atheletes in Playboy magazine. In those interviews in Playboy, Mohammed Ali has stated that he practiced abstinence before fights. Michael Jordan - same thing. But these atheletes were not as adept as Mantak Chia, who is a MASTER and who has many more important secrets to impart to those who are listening and reading, other than mere momentary abstinence.
- Reciprocity and ACTUAL Heterosexuality! Real sex consists of both partners willingly/passionately having mutual attraction in an approved context and way, not just one of them. Otherwise, you are a pervert!
- Women in groups or pairs are more confident, and less nervous usually, than when alone. Sometimes it's easier to meet people when a guy alone, or with other guys in a group, are meeting women in groups. One on one can be too intense sometimes.
- Nudity vs. Clothed, Full Body vs. Body Parts: most people, male and female both, look better with some clothes on. We all know how nice women look wearing the right swimsuit or two piece; similar situation with guys in the eyes of women. Also, the whole body with the right clothes on looks sexier than looking at one, two, or three body parts.
The other mistake is that some people wear what feels good rather than what looks good. Look in the mirror more before going out, and adjust things accordingly.
- Sex workers, mistresses. In my opinion, a guy's "need" for a mistress occurs in situations of one-way, non-reciprocated love for someone other than the mistress, or when some other lack of fulfillment occurs in marriage or relationships.
Better to have not gone down that one-way street in the first place.
- Grooming. Trim, clean your nails regularly. Shave or trim your beard or moustache; clean your teeth, use mouthwash, and floss. Wear properly matched clothes. But wear only clothes you're personally comfortable with.
- Hair Color: nearly every horror movie ever made has at least one scene where a gray-haired person suddenly appears full-screen, scaring everyone in the theatre out of their wits. Note that in the American Civil War, the South dug their own grave when they chose gray as their color - a BAD CHOICE, and a bad omen of what was to come: LOSING.
Some people look OK with gray hair, but pure white hair is a very lucky and attractive color as with the bald eagle.
Just as we paint our houses decade after decade to keep them pristine looking, so should we color our hair to keep the gray away to help prevent scary outcomes and so forth, unless you're lucky enough to have white hair instead of gray.
FRANCE: All Women on Earth, More or Less, Wish to Visit France. Isn't it interesting that statistics show clearly that nearly all women on planet earth are highly attracted to visiting France? Paris is the most popular travel destination on earth! Why is this? The French are supposed to be cleaner all over, and have placed art, music, romance, and love very high in their society! Could that be the reason?
Toilet is a French word: be clean all over! The French also invented a washing basin device called the bidet, just for cleaning the lower areas of the body after using the W.C., toilet, commode, and for cleaning the lower areas of the body. Other areas of the world have also adopted that tradition. Or maybe France adopted this tradition from elsewhere.
If a bidet is not available, improvise.
Don't take a small or large residue of yesterday's dinner around with you in your pants! That's not very romantic.)
- Keep Your "Spheres of Influence" Cooler: medical research has shown us that the male "spheres" should not be overheated by wearing excessive or too-tight clothing in that area, or by being immersed in hot water at any time for long. While the body is generally said to be at 98.6 degrees F., the "spheres of influence" are about 90 degrees F. normally as they are located outside the main structure of the male body in order to keep them cooler.
When bathing, after washing and rinsing, keep them out of the warm water. Your energy level will be higher if you do that. When sleeping, keep the covers mostly off of that area of the body. You'll sleep better also.
Staying cool means staying so clean "down there", that you don't need to wear underwear, especially in hot weather. (If you have to wear underwear, you need to take a bath, etc.)
- Beards: personally, I think most women want to see a guy's face, and prefer the unshaven face, especially during love-making, kissing, or hugging. Beards tickle, attract crumbs, and .... never mind.
Beards are OK as long as it doesn't give you the appearance of a "billy-goat". If having a beard makes a guy happy, then girls do prefer happy guys. But if you're angry with a beard? No way. Shave the beard.
Some guys look better with a beard or moustache.
- I recommend that guys who tend to fall in love too much or too often, to go ahead and love all women in your heart, not just one! Loving one women is impossible anyway! Loving all women will protect you from a delusional one-way relationship without reciprocity from the other person. And you're also being honest, aren't you? God and nature both always reward appropriate honesty!
- Women like men who are already happy. No matter how poignant your heart is feeling about "her", she probably thinks you're crazy. Women like happy men who are happy nearly all the time, not crazy ones who fall into "love", and are otherwise very very sad and lonely without "her". Find happiness in your life first before looking for happiness in relationships.
- Note that unrequitted love is the exact same thing as STALKING! Let women chase you. The problem here isn't who's chasing who, but what the women and men are actually thinking about when they meet, and what their attitude is about each other. Most guys are chasing women in their minds already. That's where the error begins - in the mind.
The more attractive women are more likely the types who prefer to chase men. I don't know why that is, but that's just how the world is.
Therefore, when you stop chasing women in your mind, this is the actual point that they begin to chase you. You should notice a "change in the entire universe" when you reach this point in understanding yourself.
- Communicate first by LISTENING AND WATCHING, rather than speaking loudly and ignoring them. Women send us signals if they are interested in us. If you're the extreme extrovert type, you may never notice the signals being sent. If you get a positive signal from women, that doesn't mean they want to marry you, or screw you. I mean, don't over-react if you get a positive signal from women!
I used to have NO awareness of these signals, and was so obsessed with my own feelings, I ignored the signals being sent. When a guy enters a room or area with women around, he should initially be quiet and watch for signals. Don't be an extrovert at this point - be a receiver of signals.
- Note that the actual process of establishing meaningful communication with women in general, is itself seen by those women as a major BREAKTHROUGH for them! Women in general are so sick of being IGNORED in terms of what they are actually trying to communicate to MEN, that when a guy comes along who consciously receives and responds to those signals, they will actually mob that guy! This is a major secret in terms of relationships. Many guys think they are communicating with women, but they aren't.
For example, research has shown that women always like to sit and face the person they are communicating with, while men, in general, like to face the same direction as the person they are talking with. Change your ways when meeting women!
- Master of Love, Sex, & Spirituality, Mantak Chia:
This great book, Taoist Secrets of Love, Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, by Mantak Chia, is a must-read for all women and men. He also teaches "higher" spiritual things in a Buddhist tradition. (NOTE: in earlier versions of the Wikipedia biography, it states that his parents were Baptists.)
Also, Taoist Secrets of Love; Cultivating Female Sexual Energy (advice for women, but a good read for everyone) is another good book.
Help Stop Genital Mutilation and/or suicide. Just reading and understanding this book by Chia could help men and women become happier with themselves, and the world. In that sense, I believe it could actually help prevent genital mutilation, suicide, or other extreme acts or outcomes. (Physical damage can occur for those who overdo sexual restraint. One study mentioned by Mantak Chia indicates that priests who practice celibacy have an extremely high rate of death from prostate cancer. This indicates a lack of the precise knowledge which Mantak Chia is trying to teach. Celibacy is OK as long as you do it right. Chia teaches precise massage and other exercises of the affected areas so that injury does not occur.)
NOTE: I am against any practices which increase disease, such as the current insane mania against circumcision for males. Reducing urinary tract infections of many many types is a GOOD THING. It would be FANTASTIC if women could also be saved from the horrible misery of urinary tract infections. Maybe the French really are more knowledgeable about this subject. Do a google search for "urinary tract infection france", and you might be surprised at what you find.
The Pill? Mantak Chia discusses only briefly the issue of committment, marriage, pregnancy, and having children in the book, so I recommend that birth-control pills, and contraception methods be utilized to avoid unwanted pregnancies for those with a girl-friend. Actually, I'm fairly certain that Chia would not have recommended to any couples to try his techniques unless the woman was already using "the pill", but he never confesses to that at any point in this book that I recall, though oddly, he mentions many times that beginners will often not succeed with his techniques at first. However, unwanted pregnancies are never mentioned at all, so he must believe in extremely good luck for his readers!
Or the unmentioned "pill". The ancient Tao tradition from whom Chia claims he obtained the knowledge did not have "the pill", so I find it extremely odd that Chia never mentions it.
Chia and his wife are a normal heterosexual couple, but gives support to gays or bisexual persons with no condemnation. He places everything in a basic yin/yang male/female energy polarity, but acknowledges universal truths for everyone. He also notes that aging and disease affect this basic male/female energy polarity.
I really feel that discussing the subject matter of Chia's book is essential, and that many problems with a physical or psychological origin, will simply disappear for the reader after studying Chia's books on human sexual health.
In an elaborate spiritual way, Chia explains how men are to avoid premature ejaculation (PE) during love-making, one of the most common sexual problems encountered by men and their frustrated girlfriends. He provides actual exercises which strengthen the male and female bodies, and which he refers to as sexual kung fu. He also teaches women to help men avoid PE, rather than hurrying up with it as some paid partners usually do.
Avoid partial sex, or 1/2 sex. Chia points out that once the guy has climaxed, generally speaking, love-making ceases with the women perhaps left out of any sexual experience that occurred briefly for only 1/2 of the pair. This leads to divorce or splitting up, and the woman turning to sex-toys and each other for sexual fulfillment.
Chia speculates that more marriages and relationships have failed due to incompetence in love-making, than any other reason.
Why should sex with boyfriend-husbands lead to frustration for the women involved? No wonder lesbianism is so popular among women, which could make lots of sense for the women!
Mantak's Chia's knowledge of sex and spirituality is so important to the world.
If pregnancy is not the goal, then be careful!!! Planned Parenthood.
- Physical damage can occur for those who haven't read Chia's book. One study mentioned by Mantak Chia indicates that priests who practice celibacy have a high rate of death from prostate cancer. This indicates a lack of the precise knowledge which Mantak Chia is trying to teach. Celibacy is OK as long as you do it right. Chia teaches precise massage and other exercises of the affected areas so that injury does not occur.
Like the battery in your mobile phone, stay charged. Women can tell if you've been doing that. Read Mantak Chia's book: click here.
- Hug-back. At most, ask her for a hug. Women love to hug. Hug back if hugged. Reciprocate, don't initiate in general.
- In terms of actual sex, let women make the physical moves, preceded by signals, and be prepared to stop at any moment. Turn over your body to her as a tool to be used as if she owns it, if and when she wants it, so to speak, but give her control and confidence. She sees you as a possibly reliable sex-toy anyway. She hates being raped. Hugging comes before kissing. Kissing before love-making. Rape leads only to jail.
Although men are supposed to lead in most dance; in sex, she leads as she's the one who can get pregnant. Many men have realized eventually that all their sexual experiences with women had been physically initiated by the women.
- Foreigners!!! Nowhere in the USA, not even in marriage, do you have the right to rape your wife, or anybody else's. Nor single women.
- Sincerity! NEVER tell big lies to, go out with, or patronize women you have no strong sincere feelings for. But be nice and honorable to all women. Do favors for all women, but don't over-do it in terms of love and dating with women you don't have strong feelings for.
However, they have to have strong feelings for you also!
- Don't assume anything, or take women for granted. Better to ask first no matter what happened in the past. Be in the moment, the NOW. That's where ALL women actually are. They are not in the past or the future as guys often are, they are NOW! But that doesn't mean they want to make love NOW! Perhaps later. Women call that shot.
No human beings should be pressured to destroy, subvert, or desensitize their own personal love and sex-life! If you seek one-way love and sex, then get an inflatable doll! Otherwise, you have to take part in the mutual sexual attraction leading to interesting sexual experiences that your partner deserves. Your partner deserves the same rights and experiences that you want for yourself, and all women and men should also all know how to avoid the women getting pregnant, especially if there is not enough affection for family building. I mean, kissing and hugging don't get women pregnant, but those are part of normal love and heterosexual relations. I believe that without the romance part, the sex is not really worth the time, energy, or trouble. If you disagree with that, you're clinically an idiot and a threat to civilization, both past and present. (The word actual was added to distinguish real-heterosexuality from "missionary-style" one-way sex, which most consider to be rape, actually.)
- Therefore, we heterosexuals have to realize the historical errors from pseudo-heterosexuality, or one-way "missionary" style sex. One way heterosexuality is not really heterosexual.
Make sure she's into you physically before investing your life with her unless you want only a Platonic relationship.
If a girl wants only sex, then advise her to get counseling. That sort of thing (one-night-stands) often destroys a guy's heart eventually. (On the other hand, real passion is also the validity "key" if a couple wants to have sex.)
- REJECTION, PLAYING THE FIELD: You have to be prepared, and to expect lots of rejection if you are very "forward" with women. Most men also reject lots of women. If you're sensitive to signals she is sending, the overt rejection may never take place.
I find it interesting that modern dating in the USA is mostly in line with high-Vedic concepts about marriage and dating in terms of choice: the swayamvara is considered the highest form of marriage in India. The same concepts can easily be applied to dating, although the involvement of the parents would probably not take place as often in the USA. Perhaps, friends could do the same things that parents did (or still do) in ancient India in terms of organizing the swamyamvara. But ordinary traditional dating in the USA has always had most of the characteristics of the swayamvara, anyway.
- Ego: some Hindus believe that the female exists to destroy the male-ego. If you don't believe this, just wait!
- Many fools would conjecture that many women chasing a certain guy might be violent when they catch up with him. Nothing could be further from the truth. Women are basically gentle people, and are nearly always like that, 99.9 percent of the time.
But men or women who have been abused their entire lives might not be so gentle. Some people do have psychological problems that need solving. However, until their problems are solved, they can be problems for everyone else. Men or women who allow themselves to be abused sexually, for money or whatever other reasons, are not healthy or normal.
- Charity and Relationships: first of all, if you're not being sincere, that is a red flag. Also, if people are well matched, no one is condenscending to help the other one out. Better for well matched couples to work together.
- Attitude is so important, that once a guy has the right attitude, women will immediately take notice and reward such men with unbelievable attention and love. Intuitively, over thousands and thousands of years, women have developed a keen sense of intuition.
When a guy comes along with the right attitude, they are so overjoyed, they mob that guy with attention since it's much too rare.
That's my theory of why things happen the way they do.
Every class in every school always has one, two, or three guys (but unfortunately, never more than that) that easily seem to always attract many women. (Or at least it appears that way.) Why? Mostly attitude. I wasn't one of those guys, figuring things out at about age 35 or 36. However, it still resulted in an incredible change in my "ability" to attract and meet many women beginning at around age 35-36 or so.
- Do You Actually Have a Relationship? If you haven't had the conversation, and there is no committment, then there is no relationship. Society used to use the word "dating" and "marriage" and "going steady", etc., to define various levels of committment, and should continue to do so. Without that explicit gradation and progress toward committment, perhaps in letters exchanged, I would not live in such a fantasy world for long if I were you. If you have not given yourself to someone, then there is no relationship.
Without that explicit agreement and committment, there is no agreement, unless agreed to. There should be a conversation between the parties to define the sort of relationship that both want to have. If either do not want a relationship and committment, then none exists until agreed to.
- The real problem today is too many not enjoying single life first with lots of contact with single women, etc., which has traditionally been the norm before committment, etc. Some may never leave that state of bliss in comparision to the various forms of slavery imposed by many in society. However, voluntary slavery is an accurate definition of marriage. Otherwise, no sane people want to be enslaved.
- What is a "goddess"? (What is a "Goddess"?) What is a "ghost"?
If we read certain parts of The Urantia Book, we find that all women are, according to this book, endowed with some extra "divinity" in comparison to men. This "divinity" is caused by the female association with the "divine mother spirit", aka, "The Holy Spirit".
In terms of the Holy Trinity of Christianity, that means it's really the Father, the Son, and the Daughter, rather than "the holy ghost". The Holy Trinity in reality never left out the women, but the church still thinks like that.
Instead, the church wants us to worship or be associated with, "the Holy Ghost".
How modern society has treated women for a long time is very strange and ghostly.
NOTE: if scars or wounds, are part of relationships, I don't think that makes much sense.